


Ultimate Fantasy

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2426840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We should be able to talk about it like healthy adults. Even if Hotch is still choking on the notion that someone suspects he has a girlfriend.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ultimate Fantasy

“It’s hot.” Derek took a sip of his Diet Coke.

 

“It’s smoking hot.” Rossi said, putting down his magazine.

 

“What is so hot about it?” Emily asked.

 

“You're kidding right?The idea of two gorgeous women all over each other…c'mon Em.”

 

“Hell, two ugly women.” Rossi said.

 

“Right.” Derek high fived him as Emily rolled her eyes.

 

“77% of men list it as their ultimate fantasy.” Reid jumped in.“Statisticians think the number is actually higher and the questionnaires were somehow skewed.”

 

“Skewed?You too, Reid.”

 

“I'm just telling you what I know, Emily.It’s a popular theme.”

 

“JJ, are you hearing this?” she looked at the only other woman on the jet.

 

“I'm hearing it.Just when I think that all men aren’t dogs, you guys reaffirm my suspicions.Thanks, I appreciate it.”

 

“There is nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life.” Derek countered.“It doesn’t make you a dog.Does it Rossi?”

 

“Don’t ask him.” JJ said.

 

“Hey, I'm offended.”

 

“Nothing offends you, Dave, and you know it.”

 

“C'mon Hotch, get in this.We’re getting beat up here.”

 

“Get in what?” Hotch pulled one earphone out of his ear.

 

“Every man’s ultimate fantasy is watching two women.” Derek said.

 

“Or joining two women.” Rossi added.

 

“Reading about two women.” Reid piped up.

 

“Are we right?” Derek asked.

 

“Yeah Hotch,” Emily looked at him.“Are they right?”

 

“Um…” the Unit Chief swallowed and then cleared his throat.“I'm not sure about every man.”

 

“Every straight man then.” Rossi said.

 

“I'm straight.” Hotch replied, looking at him with hard hazel eyes.

 

“So it’s your ultimate fantasy?” JJ asked.She glanced at Emily and both women smiled.

 

“Um…how the hell do these things come up?”

 

“Long flights.” Reid replied.

 

“Look, your girlfriend brings home another girl, a cute girl…like JJ cute.They want to do something for you after a long day.You’re telling me that you're going to say no, take a shower and go to sleep.I don’t think so.” Derek said.

 

“My girlfriend?” Hotch asked.

 

“Thanks for making me into threesomes, Morgan.” JJ said smiling.

 

“Hey, you never said you weren’t.It’s not just men.And Prentiss don’t act all innocent…I think you have the freak in you.”

 

Hotch coughed as Emily laughed.

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she asked.

 

“I would.” Rossi raised his hand.

 

“If this plane is bugged,” JJ said.“We’ll all be fired.”

 

“People make sex into something taboo.” Derek said.“Everyone is doing it and most of us are having a lot of fun.We should be able to talk about it like healthy adults.Even if Hotch is still choking on the notion that someone suspects he has a girlfriend.”

 

“Maybe if you're nice to her Hotch, she’ll give you your ultimate fantasy.” Emily said.

 

He looked at her as she turned toward Rossi.Oh, so she was playing that game.Well he could play that game too.Well, maybe not but he could try to play that game.

 

“All I’d have to do is ask.” Hotch said simply.“She aims to please.”

 

“Whoa!” Derek and Rossi exclaimed in unison, high fiving again.

 

“Go Hotch.” Derek said.

 

“She what?” Emily turned back to him.

 

“I said she aims to please.”

 

“I bet if you said that to her face, you would be sleeping on a couch.”

 

“Try it tonight.” JJ said.“Let us know how it goes.”

 

“So you do have a girlfriend?” Rossi asked.“I knew it.You’ve been wearing new ties.”

 

“And smiling more.” Reid said.“Sometimes.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Hotch said.

 

“See guys,” Emily said, folding her arms as if she had won.“Not everything is for public consumption.”

 

“C'mon Em, don’t be a spoiled sport.Tell us what you and your man like.” Derek winked.“Just one detail.After that, we will leave you alone.Right Dave?”

 

“Yeah.” Rossi nodded.

 

“Well…I can tell you one thing he doesn’t like.”

 

“What?” Dave asked.

 

“He doesn’t like to let me sleep.Like now, I’m tired, we've had a long three days, and I know I am going to get home and he’s going to want something.Not that I'm opposed to giving him what we both like.You see, _I_ aim to please.”

 

Hotch spit out the soda he was trying to swallow.He started to gasp and cough; Reid patted him on his back a couple of times but it didn’t work.Hotch managed to gasp out an excuse me before shuffling away into the bathroom.

 

“You’ve got some secrets, woman.” Derek said, looking at Emily and laughing.

 

“I don’t know what you're talking about.And you're not allowed to ask because you said you would leave me alone.” She went to sit across from JJ, picking up a National Geographic Magazine from the table.

 

“I think that’s men’s ultimate fantasy.” Reid said.

 

“What's that?” Rossi asked.

 

“Actually being able to understand women one day.”

 

“What's the fun in that?” Hotch asked, coming back and sitting in his chair.He put his earphones back on.“It’s the intrigue that we fall head over heels for.”

 

***

                                                                                                                              


End file.
